Monday, June 21, 2010

New High Caliber Woodworking Tool

"Necessity is the mother of invention." - Plato

"...but scrounging is the father." - Dan Klauder

- Begin Infomercial Announcer Voice -

Who doesn't love woodworking? It's fun and relaxing.

(Smiling man hammering nails in clean, well lit shop)

Until...oh no! That nail didn't drive straight!

(Smile turns to look of distress)

And it's down in the bottom of a very tight space! A hammer and nail punch simply can't reach it!

(Man tries unsuccessfully to drive nail back out with hammer and punch - hits own hand - drops tools and winces in pain)

Trying to pull it from the back will only make a mess!

(Man hammers screwdriver into the back of the case, splintering wood - throws tools down in disgust)

That project is finished!

(Man throws candle rack project into trash bin and turns out the lights)

But wait! All your hard work doesn't have to be ruined! Now there's a custom tool to fix this problem! Introducing...

The 30.06 On A Stick™!

This custom handmade tool, in the classic combination of hardwood and brass, will allow you to enjoy woodworking again!

Simply place the brass driver head, with the non-slip engraved pattern (Winchester 30-06 SPRG) on top of the errant nail, give the fully adjustable (saw not provided) hardwood shaft a brisk blow with your hammer of choice, and Bob's Your Uncle! The offending nail is driven back from whence it came and is now easily removed by hammer claw, pliers or other nail pulling device!

(Man - holding 30.06 On A Stick™ - slowly nodding head and looking at completed candle rack project with proud, self-satisfied expression)

Order before midnight tonight and we'll send you The .22 On A Stick™, perfect for travel or job site use, at no additional charge! Call now!

- End Infomercial Announcer Voice -

I'm hoping that maybe InventHelp will help me market this to Lie Nielsen or Veritas. Or maybe even Stanley, now that they appear to be interested in making quality tools again.

PS - It is critical to operator safety that the 30.06 casing be EMPTY before adapting to this use!


  1. I could see the commercial clearly as I read this.

    Too funny....

  2. Erik - Thanks! I love the overacting in those things.

    Josh - Yes! And I forgot to say "A $75 value, yours for just $19.99."

    Plus Shipping and Handling of course...

  3. i assuming shipping/handling will be $55.01 (-: I'm enjoying your current build.

  4. JC - Of course! :) I'm glad you are enjoying the project - I just posted the next part...


Comment Moderation has been turned on - too much spam! Bummer.

I will get an email notification and will approve any appropriate comments ASAP.